Humbled

Last night I had an utterly amazing message which has really touched me. It did so because it was from someone that I have never met, never spent time with or even met, yet they (she) took the time to write me an absolutely incredible and heartfelt message.

I wanted to say thank you to her and to everyone that has taken their time to let me know that they are enjoying reading my ramblings! I have even had messages from people that have said that my blog has made them think differently about certain things in their life, including everyday occurrences that would normally bother them. I am honestly and wholeheartedly so amazingly over the moon by this. What was started as merely a suggestion, has turned into something so cathartic and quite frankly utterly life changing for me. I am so dramatic!!

I saw this and I liked it.

I have not suffered one panic attack whilst driving since I have started writing. I still feel the initial bubbles sometimes (that’s the only way I can describe them) but, instead of reaching the normal terrifying crescendo, they have merely dissipated. I can then continue on my drive to work whilst listening to Billie Holiday or John 5 in peace, whilst obviously driving competently and completely unlike the stereotype of women drivers at all! (unless I have to reverse park of course)

Although, I have always thought of it as a defence mechanism, I have realised that there is absolutely nothing wrong with using humour to heal and cope, providing it is relevant and appropriate of course. Unlike the time at my Uncles cremation when my Dad moaned at me for being the only one smoking. I informed him I wasn’t!! My Uncle would have laughed, as I would. I was going to say he was just like my Mum in that respect but there was absolutely no chance of entertaining her the time she broke her tooth in half on a KitKat.

Anyway, I wanted to say thank you. I never really felt like I had much to offer and even though I still won’t be running out for lunch with J K Rowling, I want you to know that I am so grateful and I shall always remain just a normal person but, with lots of things to share.

Life can be hard but, how we choose to view it will determine how we continue to exist. I choose to view it with humour.

Mostly, I want to thank one person in particular for making me feel like I could do anything, who always tells me he is proud of me and who, without his encouragement, I would never have got off my lazy backside and written anything. As well as the technical support he has given me, he has only really lost his patience (in regards to this anyway) half a time 😉 Therefore: to my guitar playing, White Falcon wanting, Setzer loving, Zappa crazy and Beefheart bopper man/Fiancé : I love you and I look forward to spending forever with you. With the new life you have given me. A life with hope. Always yours. Me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx