If you were me and I was you!

If you were me and I was you!

Happy Birthday! to my Mummy for yesterday. She would have been 68 (I think) That sounds terrible but in all honesty, My Mum has been dead for longer than I actually knew her. In that respect, do I think it is maudlin to mark those occasions like a Birthday for someone who has gone? Of course not! It is only maudlin if I spend the day feeling sorry for myself, which of course I didn’t as I do that daily anyway! Just joking!

I spoke to a Psychic once who told me that my Mum was upset that I never had photos of her around. Well, you can tell her that I am upset with her too…for dying! Of course, I always had to have the last word! Apparently she also wanted to have some reference to her in my girls names. That is how I knew that it was my Mum because she had an amazing sense of humour: Maureen Freda Joan…Mum really? Her Mum was called Joan and my other Nanny was called Phyllis Mildred: if that wouldn’t be the universe having a giggle, I don’t know what would be!

On the weekend, I am sure my other half would not mind me telling you, but we had an enormous row! Sometimes I think it is good to clear the air with these occurrences as we spend a lot of time together but, we don’t always talk (not about important things anyway) Human beings in their very nature always want something that they don’t have: I would like a house in Taormina (look it up) with a cable car, a lunch of ย Buffalo Mozzarella every day and a Pinot Grigio tree but, that is not reality.

We live each day doing the same things, going to work, looking after the children and if you are anything like us, sitting on the sofa at night, eating chocolate and watching television. It is natural to think that life should be more interesting and when you are busy looking at Twitter and some 18 year old blonde with a wash board stomach is jumping off the Empire State Building in her bikini, why should you feel special that you are merely enjoying ‘Benefits Britain’ with a glass of Shiraz! Truth is though, what if you didn’t do that anymore? What if your life changed and it was all taken away? Then you would realise that you were happy and life was important to you. I am under no illusion that I may create the vaccine for Ebola or end world hunger, but that does not mean that my life has been wasted: nor that I should have done something else with it. Really and truly, if I did now jump off the Empire State Building in my bikini (although it would be more of a belly flop for me), I would really want to be sat at home with my boyfriend watching ‘Benefits Britain’. That is the irony! Why can’t we just realise that now before we have to lose something to make it important. This is what I tell my boyfriend when he is feeling rubbish about himself and that he has achieved nothing. We have all achieved something, whether we have been kind to someone when they needed it or told our child something that they will always remember and subsequently tell their children, we can’t see what we have or what we gave because we are too busy thinking that we should be something else.

In 1990, my Cousin Emily was 11. She was the daughter of my Mum’s brother Terry and she was my penpal. I used to love getting her letters and she was always particulary good at drawing mice. Her and I were exactly the same age and many said we looked the same too. I can still remember her vividly, she had a huge smile and she was so kind and caring. I am sure that she would have been a primary school teacher and probably sit on her sofa at night and eat chocolate but, she never got that far. One day she went to school and she simply never came back!

If you were me and I was you!

Left to right: Emily, her brother Simon and me.

I can remember those storms. I was at school and my classmates and I were watching the slates fly around outside. Clearly the buildings we were in were 2 million years old and so we were marched to our school hall, which I always thought was a bit mental as we then had to dodge said slates on the way there. Personally, if I had known I would have to sing Kum Ba Yah for three hours accompanied by Mr Pearson on his accordion, a light concussion may have been a relief!

I should not say that. For my special Emily simply sat at her desk and the roof fell on her. My Mum was really affected by her death. She never spoke to me about it, as I was 11 too but, I always knew. I wish I had spoken to her as maybe it would have helped her but, probably I was too busy wishing that Patrick Swayze would suddenly like goofy 11 year olds. My Mum would have traded her life for Emily’s, I know this to be true! In actually fact, she was not that long behind her but, my point is, when my Mum was dying, she did not spend her time thinking about what she wished she had done with her life or what she regretted but, merely how she had lived it and that she would now be leaving it behind. Don’t wait until it’s too late!

12 thoughts on “If you were me and I was you!

  1. Shu, you are quite right! (I hate admitting that lol) But we do all yearn for those things that we don’t have, instead of simply enjoying the wonderful things we do have. Like waking up in the morning, a hug from a hairy, fart smelling other half or a child’s toothless grin ๐Ÿ™‚ I always say I don’t want anything more than to be loved, something to eat and clean drawers each day! I’d definiately not want to be jumping off the Empire State building even if I had one of ‘those’ wash board bellies of yesteryear.

    I often wonder in my odd head exactly what have I achieved or accomplished…I never did earn that Porsche and my first million before I was 30 BUT I do have two children who I love more than my being and a great family who I love very much and clean drawers so I’m a relatively happy pig I think ๐Ÿ™‚

    We need to all remember to be thankful for small mercies!

    A lovely piece of writing ๐Ÿ™‚ Enjoyed it. xxx

  2. We all yearn for something that is unatainable, I wish I could write like you ( it might help if I could spell). I use to sit and marvel at you comand of the English language when we worked together. I am so pleased that you are now commiting that to a blog ( and I am awaiting the book). You are both lovely caring people who may not live in a big fancy house or drive swanky cars but you are who you are . Love life and love each other and be thankful for what you have.

  3. Lovely piece of writting again. The two of you need to sit down and look at what you have achieved, you may not live in a mansion or drive around in flash cars but you are two of the most careing people I have known and that is a great achievement. You have a lovely family and you have each other tat is what is important.

  4. Every word the truth shu! Bloody brilliant writing which makes me stop, think and reflect!!! And yes, I do remember that day, I can’t believe where time has gone!! Keep doing what you’re doing shu-I for one love reading your posts xxx

  5. My God Mother – your spelling is terrible !

    Another great post Shu – We have achieved lots when I do stop and think about it

    Love you

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  6. I hope you are beginning to really know in your heart what a very special person you are Shu. . . and enjoy the little things in life, because one day you’ll look back and realise they were the big things. Your writing has opened my eyes to your great strength and resilience and I admire you very much. I am so happy that you have met such a wonderful man in Tristan and that your lovely girls have great role models in you two. So much to look forward to … love you and always here for you, XxxXx

  7. I would just like to bring everyone’s attention to the above comment, specifically

    “I am so happy that you have met such a wonderful man in Tristan and that your lovely girls have great role models in you two”

    Firstly I would like to confirm I didnt pay Ro to say this – she is clearly a lady of impeccable taste” secondly……..Me a role model……Who would have thought !

    xxx

    Ps Ro – Tell Stanley I have his nuts !!!

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