Oooops!

Yesterday, when I shared my post and rantings with you, my Boyfriend did not offer me his usual supportive opinion. Me, being a selfish hormonal cow bag that I currently admit to being did not take this as anything but him being a big old meanie (or perhaps he just really does loves Pavarotti) Actually, though, later on in the evening, he said that he felt I had…..well I am not going to repeat it but, really I should be washing out his bearded potty mouth!! I will tell his Mum anyway.

Naturally, this was never my intention. I would never hurt him intentionally or make him feel anything less than the crazily complicated, hairy whirlwind but, life inspiring wondrous being that he truly is. Even with his potty mouth! He is bloody hard work sometimes and he drives me insane but….. Hellooooooooo, have you met me? If I am very honest, I wanted him to just sit down and talk to me and make me feel better by buttering my ego. I never ever wanted to make him feel like he was not being there for me.In actual fact, this could not be further from the truth.He is the other part of me.

There is always a rainbow after rain.

I meant everything I said. It is not always easy to deal with the fact that someone you Love has had a past without you.I do sometimes feel like I am not good enough: that he may easily find someone new or someone far more interesting and better looking and with a far less wobbly bottom. This, however, is a combination of crazy raging hormones, an always high maintenance constitution and the fact that since he came into my life, he brought the light with him and I never want it to go away!

So, I am sorry for my irrational, annoying, high maintenance, stroppy and downright unreasonable behaviour but, I can never be anything else than this.I promise though, that forever and a day, I will spend the rest of my life making sure that he knows exactly why and that he has saved me.Don’t get me wrong, I am not going to change but, that is just me being realistic. However, I am the person there to cheer him and support him and tell him that I Love him every day and if I ever appear any different, I truly do not mean to and I am sorry.