Cooey! Sorry, I have been quiet (in a literary sense) for so long. I have, in fact just been a Mother in the thrives of the Summer Holidays. And what a joyous time that is!! I am just joking actually; I Love having them at home. The best thing about such a large gap between children is that you have built in baby sitters. Also, I enjoy their company of course. I could home school if my knowledge wasn’t so lacking and if The Real Housewives Of……(anywhere) was listed on the curriculum.
Apart from the massive lack of holiday, which I will moan about later, I have taken quite a ginormous step theses past few weeks. Maybe it was the three days of Summer we had or the blissful utopia of not having to stand at the school gates that gave me the metaphorical kick up the arse that I needed but, I actually did it! I actually enrolled on an Open University Degree course. God knows why!! Well, actually I do know why really. I want to be someone. I want to be someone of note and do something that I enjoy and is worthwhile, that will make people proud of me and leave a tiny amoeba size fleck of something when I am long gone. I want to use what I have dealt with to help others do the same. I know I sound like a Disney film.
Oh the irony! BSc (Honours) in Psychology and Counselling! I do think though, that a degree of mentalness is the perfect foundation for any Counsellor. After all, would you really respect a nun teaching you Sex Education? (don’t laugh; this actually did happen to me too!) So. I have gone for it! My Counsellor really did open my eyes completely to being a real person. A normal person (with just a few dints). If I can have that affect on just one human then it will be worth the…ahem…6 bloomin years it is going to take me. I must be truly mental but, it was this or have another child. We all make comments about only being a Mum and it is true. Life moves so fast and before I know it, the children will be grown up and I will still be sat in front of a computer thinking, where did it all go? If I do not do it now it will be too late.
I Love being a Mum and I had always wanted to get married and have children. It is one of the hardest jobs ever and you do lose yourself sometimes. As much as I sometimes want to tear my hair out, and as many times within the Summer break I have almost invested in a wig, I can still go up to their room at night and watch them sleep (when I should be watching Real Housewives)! I have been so jealous of everyone going on holiday or even having a weekend break. We would have loved to take the girls away but, we just couldn’t manage it. We did have a night away with friends in Cornwall but, I got so over excited that I drank too much Cornish Mead and had to hang my head out the window on the journey home. We had hoped to do something before I spent all my free time being a student but, I guess it just was not meant to be. I shall continue to look longingly at Groupon and everyone else’s Facebook pictures whilst mumbling about them under my breath.
I also had a health scare recently myself too and although we always say we will live life to the fullest (especially after we have seen a meme on Facebook), ultimately, we don’t really. We just go to work or to the pub and we follow the same old pattern most days. Nothing wrong with that but it’s how life just happens. It is only when we are sad or hurt or something bad happens to us that we really live as we should. Currently, I am awaiting the results of a biopsy. My specialist has reassured me that he thinks it will all be fine. As reassuring as you can be to someone that has spent the last 20 years waiting for Cancer to come and knock on their door! I know that does sound dramatic but, its true.
So for now I can concentrate on being a boffin and wondering if I can actually get a student discount, as well as being just a little bit proud that I may be able to do something else with my life apart from make people. Although actually, I hope that is exactly what I can do!